[Reseña] Mi teoría de todo, J. J. Johnson

The Theory of Everything , J. J. Johnson
Autoconclusivo
Ediciones SM ~ 2018 ~ 333 págs.
ISBN 9789563630985

Un año después del accidente de Jamie, parece que todo el pueblo lo ha superado y sigue adelante con su vida.

Sarah, sin embargo, no consigue quitarse de encima ni el sentimiento de culpa ni esa «neurona borde» que se apodera de ella cada vez más a menudo. Sus padres no la entienden, sus notas empeoran, la relación con su novio se enfría… Y, por si fuera poco, el hermano de Jamie no deja de preguntarle cómo fue el accidente.

Mi Opinión

*Esta reseña puede contener spoilers*

Uff, la verdad es que he tenido muchos sentimientos con este libro. Cuando llegó a mis manos y leí un par de palabras no me llamó mucho la atención, no podía conectar con la historia de esta chica a la que se le había muerto su APS (amiga para siempre) y de pronto la vida se llevó a mi propia APS. Todo se volvió raro, y las palabras que iba leyendo las podía entender de otra manera.

Así que tuve dos etapas con el libro: ADM (antes de la muerte de Marilyn) y DMM (después de la muerte de Marilyn). Lo anoto de esa manera porque Sarah, la protagonista, también divide su vida así: AMJ (antes de la muerte de Jamie) y DMJ (después de la muerte de Jamie).

El relato comienza con Sarah contando que su APS murió, no dice al comienzo que sucedió, simplemente que ocurrió en el gimnasio del colegio y que fue culpa suya. A lo largo de las páginas Sarah nos cuenta cómo todo el mundo parece haber olvidado a su amiga, como la vida siguió y ella no entiende por qué. A veces las personas fingen que Jamie nunca existió, y le da miedo superarlo porque no quiere olvidarla, además del sentimiento de culpa que la acecha.

Y lo peor es que cuanto más tiempo pasa, más me siento atrapada en una dimensión paralela en la que mi APS jamás existió. Igual que en la película Regreso al futuro, cuando Michael J. Fox viaja hacia atrás en el tiempo y después ve que sus hermanos empiezan a desaparecer en una foto. Cada vez se ven un poquito más borrosos porque están dejando de existir.

Este relato es una visión de la pérdida de un ser querido, de cómo lo enfrentamos y cómo la gente a nuestro alrededor a veces se aleja porque no sabe de qué manera tratar con nosotros. Me ha pasado que a veces solo quiero hablar de mi amiga, de lo genial y mal genio que era y de pronto me fijo en la incomodidad de las personas así que debo callarme, pues a Sarah, le ocurre exactamente lo mismo. Además, ella está tan perdida en su pena, que se cuestionaba todo.

Dejan de importarle las notas y la jerarquía social del instituto porque su APS murió y entiende que esas cosas no son importantes, no realmente. Pero se encierra, y se recluye tanto en su pena y en su teoría de todo, que aleja a las personas. Toda su familia está preocupada por ella, porque han pasado ocho meses desde la muerte de su APS y ella sigue igual.

Sarah ve como todos parecen haberlo superado y ella no quiere, porque en su mente si lo hace significaría traicionar la memoria de Jamie. Ella dice que una «neurona borde» se instaló en su cabeza y que es la culpable de mucha de sus situaciones, ya que hace que responda de malas maneras, aún cuando ella quiere decir otra cosa. La neurona borde toma el control y lo arruina todo.

¿Dónde te has ido? ¿Dónde está nuestra Sarah? me pregunta, y deja caer la cabeza entre las manos. Quiero que vuelva mi hija.

Ver llorar a tu padre de ese modo, y por ti…No por algo que hayas hecho, sino por quién eres tú, porque la persona que te has convertido esta hecha una mierda y es tan inaccesible…Eso va más allá de la tristeza, y años luz más allá de la culpa.

Vergüenza. Eso es lo que siento. Me siento avergonzada. No de él, aunque es embarazoso verlo tan destrozado. Me avergüenzo de mí misma. Este hombre fuerte, inteligente, capaz (¡mi padre, cielos!) está llorando por mí entre balbuceos. Porque no sé cómo librarme de esta maldita neurona borde.

Al comienzo no podía empatizar mucho con Sarah, a parte de la diferencia de edad que tengo con la protagonista encontraba que muchas de sus actitudes eran infantiles (obvio, ella es adolescente), sin embargo a medida que avanzaba en la lectura la cosa iba cambiando. No es que ella madurara de un día para otro, sino que yo, sin darme cuenta, me estaba viendo reflejada en ella, una mezcla entre mi yo adolescente, y mi yo de ahora, y la entendíamos. Y cuando Sarah hablaba de Jamie, o de cómo se sentía frente a su muerte, yo me identificaba con su dolor, con la parte de Sarah que no sabía como continuar con una vida donde nunca más estaría su APS.

La protagonista no es la típica adolescente de libro. No va al extremo de tener una pésima relación con sus padres y ser una marginada social a ser la porrista popular que sale con el capitán del equipo. La verdad es que era bastante normal ADM. Salía con su APS, veía a su novio, Steann, tenía cenas familiares los domingos, iba a fiestas a veces, tenía un perro, le iba normal en el instituto, etc. DMJ ella cambió radicalmente (¿y quién no?) no sabía cómo comunicarse con las personas sin ser sarcástica o antipática. No sabía expresar sus emociones, sus padres estaban preocupados, pero mientras más intentaban acercarse a ella, ella más se alejaba y se hacía literalmente bolita en su pieza.

Una de las cosas que me gustó mucho del libro fueron las ilustraciones de Sarah explicando cosas de la vida, o los diseños de su teoría de todo. La historia tiene un cambio curioso, que ni yo esperaba, cuando aparece el Capitán Zarigüeya, personaje un poco escalofriante. Francamente el cambio que hay poco después debido a este personaje me pilló totalmente por sorpresa. Le dio como una frescura al relato que no me esperaba, además de ser el conducto de Sarah para comenzar a sanar.

Ella es fanática perdida de Star Wars, igual que su novio, el que no me cae muy bien. No es que sea un mal chico, es que la shippe todo el libro con otro personaje jaja. Hay una escena donde Stenn esta celoso de su relación con Emmett (hermano gemelo de su fallecida APS), y la forma en que ella le aclara la situación me hizo bastante gracia.

Es como mi hermano.

Tú ya tienes un hermano.

Vale, pues un hermano amable, mejor me lo pones. Emmett y yo somos como Luke y Leia. Tú eres mi Han.

Vuelvo a darle un golpecito cariñoso.

Y más adelante aparece el tema de nuevo:

Vale. Antes que nada, repito: Emmett es como un hermano para mí. En plan Luke y Leia. Así que no tienes nada de qué preocuparte.

¿Y qué me dices del beso que le da Leia a Luke en Hotch? Prácticamente se lo come…

Vale, tienes razón. ¡Eso fue incesto total! exclamo aliviada al ver que se ríe—. Retiro el ejemplo.

Amé este libro más de lo que pretendía, más de lo que esperaba, porque tocó toda mi fibra sensible en el momento más delicado de mi vida. Sarah se perdió en su pena cuando Jamie murió, y se aisló y se aisló. Sin embargo, diversas personas la ayudan a sanar de forma tan sutil que no lo notamos hasta que la actitud de ella comienza a cambiar, y se vuelve más viva, más esperanzada. Leer las palabras contenidas en el relato ha sido mi propia forma de ir limpiando una herida después de la muerte de mi APS que no quiero que se infecte. Para Sarah ya habían pasado ocho meses desde lo de Jamie, para mí aún no ha pasado ni un mes. Es un camino difícil, pero definitivamente sé que no quiero terminar con una neurona borde instalada en mi cabeza.

215 opiniones en “[Reseña] Mi teoría de todo, J. J. Johnson”

  1. Quizas el libro llego a tus manos por algo especial.
    Se lee muy interesante, creo que deberia ser un libro que todos debemos leer en algun momento de nuestras vidas, porque a nadie le enseñan como afrontar la perdida de un ser amado.

    1. Así es, probablemente el libro llegó a mis manos por algo así, lo he pensado, porque los últimos libros que he leído han sido bastante importantes y asertivos. Enfrentar esa clase de perdida es muy difícil, más para uno que para otros, y siempre será diferente, y un proceso muy personal. Ojala nos enseñaran un camino a seguir para que fuese más sencillo, o para no sentirse tan perdido en todo ese dolor.
      Te dejo invitado totalmente a leer este libro, ¡y estar atento a nuevas notas que podrían gustarte!

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  75. An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a coworker who was doing a little homework on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast due to the fact that I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to talk about this subject here on your website.

  76. Can I just say what a relief to uncover somebody that really knows what they’re talking about on the web. You actually know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people have to look at this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you’re not more popular since you most certainly have the gift.

  77. I’m very pleased to uncover this page. I want to to thank you for your time for this particularly wonderful read!! I definitely savored every bit of it and I have you book marked to check out new information on your blog.

  78. When I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a means you can remove me from that service? Thanks!

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  85. Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thanks, However I am going through troubles with your RSS. I don’t understand the reason why I cannot join it. Is there anybody getting identical RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

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